I grew up in a very religion oriented family. Both of my parent’s lives did, and still do to some extent, revolve acutely around God and living lives that pleased Him. As a young child I so badly wanted my parent’s approval, and in order to gain their approval I mirrored, not only their actions, but also their morals and values. Due to that mindset, I essentially lived a “Christian” life even before I became a Christian.
When I was ten, my best friend and her family took me to hear the father of Rachel, one of the victims of the Columbine shootings, speak. He spoke about how the shooter had demanded that Rachel renounce her faith, in order to live, and how she had responded, “you know I can’t do that”, and was subsequently shot and killed. On the way home that night I found myself thinking about what I would do if put into that situation. I then realized that I had simply been imitating my parent’s beliefs, rather than acting on my own accord.
I am now twenty-two and have been through many ups and downs throughout my life which have both caused me to have a closer walk with God and have also, on occasion, pushed me further from Him. I am still working on this and do not expect it to get any easier as time goes on, I can only hope to become a stronger person throughout the challenges.
